Why

Why?
This feeling shouldn't still be here inside of me.
This feeling shouldn't be here, it is not meant to still be there.
I found a wonderful man, who truly loves me and I him.
So why is that damn feeling not gone?
Why?
When you find happiness that feeling is supposed to leave you isn't it?
So why do I feel as though I am still missing a piece of myself?
Is it because I gave up hope for the one whom I dreamt of?
Is it because I fell in love with another?
I am happy.
I found light in the darkness.
The darkness you left me in.
I saved myself, I could no longer wait for you.
So why is it still there?
I feel that someone was meant to be there for me,
and when that person failed to show,
I moved on.
So why is that feeling still deep inside of me?
Are you a friend?
Are you a lost sibling?
Are you a lover?
Why did you never find me?
I felt you out there always.
I know you are out there.
Why did we never meet then?
Why did you not come to me?
Why did you leave me alone?
Isn't fate suppose to show us the way to each other?
I searched in every crowd for your face but you were never there.
I miss you.
I miss someone I have never even met.
I must be going crazy.
I use to imagine you by my side, giving me strength, giving me your love.
I dreamt that you saved me from the dark.
I dreamt that you saved me from the pain and sorrow my soul was in.
I thought as long as I held onto hope and believed in you, that love would guide us.
I thought that no matter what, you would come to me.
I know better now.
That was only a fairy tale and those don't happen outside of a storybook.
You never saved me!
You never eased my suffering!
You never showed me the light!
You thrust me into darkness!
I was hurt.
I was lost.
I was weak and alone in the dark.
Finally I stopped waiting for you.
I stopped longing for you.
I stopped loving you.
That is when I found the strength inside of myself to move on.
Move beyond the pain and suffering.
I found my own way in the dark.
I found a new love.
I found happiness!
So why are you still there in the back of my mind?
I gave you up!
I don't want you anymore!
I hate you now!
I don't care if we were meant to be the best of friends.
I don't care if you are my lost sibling the one I couldn't find.
I don't care if you are even the one I am destined to be with.
I don't care about you anymore!
You need to leave me alone so I can be truly happy.
So I can love without wondering what if.
You need to stop haunting me.
Walk away, leave me be, just like before.
You already failed me.
You already hurt me.
You already let me go.
So why?
Why is it still there?
Why is there an ache in my heart?
Why is there a hole in my soul?
Why do I feel like something is still missing?
Why?